Friday, November 16, 2012

Family Time

My husband started a new job this week which allows him to be home in the evenings with us. We are all used to him working over nights and resting during days. This is a pleasant change for our family.

We have sat down at the dinner table and enjoyed meals together and then evening quality time. 

Paul Michael likes to play in the evening; he gets very hyper before bedtime. He is developing a very rough side. He slams back and forth and throws his toys like he is apart of the World Wrestling Federation.  It is quite amusing.

The husband was trying to show Paul Michael how to use his baby hammer. He was walking around banging on the toys and the walls and the furniture etc. He kept saying, “Look Paul Michael, look at Daddy using your hammer. This is how you do it, bang bang bang…”

A few days of this and I think Paul Michael finally caught on…

I heard screams coming from the octagon play yard (which we like to refer to as, Paul Michael’s gated community) and I quickly turned my head to see PM using his hammer in a rapid manner on his Daddy’s “parts”.

Husband jolted up and jumped out of the gated community with a look of hurt on his face. 

“Are you okay, Husband”, I tried to say without laughing.

Just in the past three days my husband has got a batmobile dropped on his head, a piano thrown against his ear and then roughly beaten in the family jewels.

Poor guy.

“Do you remember months ago when you made PM eat those baby peas when he was obviously not enjoying them? I think this is some form of retaliation.”

I'll remember this and one day you will pay...

Monday, November 12, 2012

Cleaning the Casa Loco

Why is it that my home looks as if there was a team of pigs that stopped by to party like it was 1999?

I promise I just had this place spotless, and all of the sudden I see shoes and toys and dried up chicken thrown on the floor.

I do not quite understand how it looks this way when there are only two adults, and one small child that live here. We also have two dogs and a cat, but I can guarantee you that the shoes that are strategically placed in the middle of the room, are not theirs.

The next time I trip over a pair of abandoned shoes, I am throwing them in the middle of the highway to be destroyed. Yes….Yes I am.

Put your shoes away, or this will be YOU!

As a matter of fact, there are quite a few things that bother me to the point of wanting to rip my own eyeballs out.

  1. Shoes in the middle of the floor, hallway, stairs etc.
  2. 50,000 coats and jackets laying around the house because they can’t find their way home (THE CLOSET)
  3. Dishes that are not rinsed after usage. Gross and makes my job 10 times harder
  4. Empty toilet paper rolls left for dead...CHANGE THE FRIGGEN ROLL!
  5. Crumbs, I hate crumbs.
  6. Leftover whiskers in my bathroom sink. Clean it up husband, clean it up…
  7. Trash that missed the big ol’ garbage can on the way in and again is left for dead…
  8. Spider webs. Everyone will find them in the house but until I see a rent check, off you go.
  9. If something is pulled from its place to be used, then please be kind enough to put it back in a timely manner.
  10. Having to complain about it all and looked at as a Nag…

Also, these house pets don’t pick up after themselves. I am looking to invent a vacuum that could be attached to their collar and the dogs could waltz around the house and clean at the same time. Maybe strap a sponge to their paws to shine the floors. Earn your keep. Possibilities…

Spot Cleaning...Pun intended

*Note* before anyone gets bent out of shape – I really wouldn’t do that. Unless I could, then I totally would…

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Cinnamon Sunday

I woke up at 6 a.m. and without delay started the coffee IV. My son was up before the sun and he was bright eyed and bushy tailed.

I was having delicious dreams of pancakes (Don’t judge me) and then I heard the sound of Paul Michael yelling for “Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma”.

After the first gallon of coffee started to run through my veins, I remembered a recipe I came across a while back for Cinnamon Roll Pancakes. I made them once before, and I do remember it being a little process, but they were super scrumptious and worth it.

I shuffled through the kitchen to make sure I had all of the ingredients before my dreams were crushed.

Excellent!! I had everything to make Cinnamon Roll Pancakes.

Here’s what you need:

-         Pancake Mix
-         Brown Sugar
-         Cinnamon
-         Powdered Sugar
-         Butter
-         Vanilla Extract
-         Milk

Let me start by saying, I am sometimes a bit challenged in the kitchen and have trouble following directions. I do not intentionally do this, but it happens from time to time. If I had to grade myself today, I would get a “C”.

Cinnamon Swirl Mix
-         ½ cup of Brown Sugar
-         1 Tsp. Cinnamon
-         2 tbsp. Melted Butter

*Note*  My brown sugar was as hard as a brick. Actually, using a brick probably would have been easier. I softened it by placing it in a bowl and then in a separate bowl, I put water. Both bowls in the microwave for a minute, and then 30 sec. intervals until soft. Be careful you don’t melt the sugar. This helped a bit.

Cinnamon Pancake Topping (Taste just like the Cinnamon Bun Icing)
-         1 ½ cups Powdered Sugar
-         ½ tsp. Melted Butter
-         ¼ tsp vanilla
-         2 tbsp. milk

*Note* You can add a little more milk if icing is too thick, but you don’t want it too runny. Also, if the Cinnamon Swirl Mix is too thick, you can thin it by adding a little milk. You want that consistency to be like toothpaste.

Now, for the good part…

Mix you pancake batter and start to pre-heat your griddle on medium flame. Once your griddle is hot, add the pancake batter as you would for a regular pancake. Let the batter bubble up some and then you want to add your cinnamon swirl mix like this….

(My swirl was a little too thick or the bottle I used sucked)

I used an empty, clean dressing bottle, but any squeeze bottle you have might work. I just happened to have 2 dressing bottles hanging around. (This is the packrat in me)

Once the pancake is cooked on that side, flip and let it finish.

When all is said and done, swirl your icing on top and enjoy a Cinnamon Roll Pancake. It’s probably worth about 50,000 calories but again, so worth it.

Here’s what the finished dish looked like….

Cinnamon Roll Pancakes - DEE-licious!

Paul Michael and I enjoyed them very much. My only complaint about these pancakes is the cinnamon swirl gets a little crusty on top and I don’t like how the pancake tastes kind of crispy. The process can be a bit time consuming, especially when you are starving and could chew your arm off. Other than that, they are A-OK. You can try them out for yourself and hopefully you enjoy them!!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Fifty Shades of Addicted

I went from reading Cosmo magazine, to reading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”. What a difference.

When I became pregnant for the first time, I checked out every single parenting book and I was obsessed. The step by step guides to what was happening to my body and what I was about to go through started to take over my life.

I carried those books with me and used them as my reference guides and I was soon filled with an obscene amount of information. Maybe a little too much! This is all that I knew for quite sometime and then I soon heard about an epidemic that was hitting women all over the world.

50 Shades of Grey…

Best thing since sliced bread!

I was hearing women talk about it in the grocery store, salon, on the internet, bus, gas station, department stores, you name the place, these ladies were talking. I ignored it at first and didn’t think too much of it.

I was having a phone conversation one lovely day and my best friend says, “Have you heard of the 50 Shades books?” After she started to explain a little about them, I was intrigued. I was definitely going to see what these books were all about.

Ironically enough, another friend of mine mentioned the books the very next day, and said, “I have all 3 books, do you want to borrow them?” Oh ya, now we’re cookin.

I waited until that evening after I put my son to sleep to start the first book. I sat on the couch with a cup of coffee and some most delicious, fattening snacks. This was nice, peace and quiet AND a good book. I didn’t quite know how to act at this point, so I started to read.

Hello Lovah - I am reading 50 Shades of Grey!

Instantaneously, I was addicted. I couldn’t put it down.

After two hours went by, and my husband was on his way to bed, I followed him upstairs zombie-fied. I ran into three walls on the way upstairs because I couldn’t take my eyes off of this book. Good thing I wasn’t walking down the steps…

We sat in bed, husband with the remote endlessly flickering through channels. When he was falling asleep, he started to whine that the light was bothering him. Nag. I shuffled through every drawer and looked in every room to find only the tiniest of flashlights. I couldn’t sleep just yet, I was reading 50 Shades.

Four long hours later and it’s 4 a.m. I am now cross eyed with a stiff neck and addicted. I was a fiend, a 50 Shades of Grey fiend.

I ain't ready to go to no sleep. I'm busy readin' fool

My son gets up pretty early in the morning, so I knew I was going to be pooped. After fighting with myself several times, I finally closed the book and went to sleep.

The following days were a blur. I had a book glued to my hand at all times and I was learning the true meaning of multi-tasking. I mastered the art of cooking dinner, laundry and cleaning all the while still reading my book.

I was a little crazy with the whole thing. I was willing to skip normal activities like eating and showering and sleeping, just to get a few extra chapters in. 

Do I have to eat? I have things to do.

Yes, I was probably a bit negligent at times while learning to multi-task, but no one or nothing was harmed in the process. So I’m good.

This book is a good read and addicting to say the least, but really, who in the hell has a relationship like that? Is it me, am I missing something? Embarrassing as this is, I even had to Google a few things from the book. There were things mentioned that I have never in my life even heard of.

I was without a doubt caught up in the 50 Shades frenzy. I finished all three books and it still left me wanting more. I hear there is a movie to be made and I have no idea how it is going to be done, but I will be at the front of the line for my tickets.

My husband was thrilled when I was done reading. Back to reality. I wasn't so zombie-fied and things were returning to normal. He asked me a few times about the book and when I told him what is was about, he was all like....

I just continued to pass the word on that if you haven’t read the books yet, get with the program and start reading. You might be pleasantly surprised. I was.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Stuck in the Middle with You

So I was looking at my son today and realizing how much time has gone by and how big he has gotten. It seems just like yesterday I was a swollen, nauseated, cranky, first time pregnant, mother to be.

I enjoyed being pregnant and I embraced every moment but I have to say, I had a rough pregnancy. Something was always going on with me and me being the “baby” that I am, I was terrified the entire time.

The first trimester was rough.

I was nauseous ALL day and ALL night. I couldn’t escape the feeling and it was so hard for me to find something to eat that didn’t make me sick. I would find one thing and stick with it. That would satisfy me for a few weeks and then all of the sudden I couldn’t eat that food any longer.

I think at one point, I ate cucumbers for 3 weeks straight and then all of the sudden the seeds made me sick. I looked at those seeds like they were some strange bugs and I ran for my life.

Then it was onto eggs, then candy, then back to cucumbers. Not only was I driving myself psycho but I think I was driving my husband somewhere too. Ten trips to the grocery store for “MORE CUCUMBERS!”

The second trimester for me was by far, the best. The nausea went away and I could eat again and I was feeling great! Well almost. About halfway through my second trimester is when the heartburn kicked in.


I felt like I was growing a fire blowing dragon inside of me. Tums became my best friend until the end. Literally.

There were a lot of exciting things about the second trimester and I started to settle down a little and learn to relax. I should have relaxed a little more. Especially if I would have known that was the last amount of relaxation that I would ever receive in my life. Or at least for a very very very long time.

Ahhh, the third trimester approached and all of the sudden I was as large as a house. I mean, my size before was more like a small apartment, but now, I was a HOUSE. Everything was inflated. I believe at one point my eyelashes were swollen.

Summer was here and the weather was hot. And so was I.

I couldn’t sleep well because I was too big to move. My husband had to rent a crane to get me in and out of bed.

I particularly remember one beautiful summer afternoon and it went like this…

My husband and I wanted to cook out on the grill and relax in our backyard. I was all for it and I was looking for some “cool” clothes to lounge in. I found something that fit and went with it. I threw my hair up and ventured on outside.

I told my husband I was so warm and my feet were so swollen I needed to find how to relax so I could be more comfortable. He threw his finger up in the air (not the middle) and proclaimed, “A-ha, I’ve got it.”

I waited while he went inside and shuffled around and when he returned he was holding a beach chair and my inflatable mini foot bath.

What in the world are you doing?

He set the beach chair up and told me to have a seat, so I did. Comfy. He made me put my feet in the foot bath, which at that time we were calling our “pool”. He grabbed the hose and filled the “pool”.

I began to relax this was a good idea, husband.

He ran back into the house and got me my sunglasses and a cherry popsicle. I was absolutely content. Until the sun felt like it was setting fire to my body. I whined and whined and then my husband grabbed the hose and began to hose me down.

Yes, I sure felt all sexy-ish right now.

As we were having fun in our water park, his phone rang. So he set the hose down to take the call. It was my mother-in-law. I decided I had to go to the bathroom so I would sneak inside while the husband was on the phone. Come to find out that I couldn’t get up. Yes, I was stuck inside the chair.


I called out to my husband but he was in deep conversation. I keep yelling with such panic. “Help, I’m stuck. Paul, HELP, I CAN’T GET UP!!!!”

He turned around to see me struggling to move and I couldn’t help but to laugh at the look on his face.

Here’s all I remember hearing…

Husband: (calmly) “Mom, hold on. Erika is stuck in the chair.”

Husband: (Voice raised a little) “No Mom, I was hosing my wife down and now she is stuck.”

Husband: (Screaming) “MOM, Hold on while I pry my wife’s ass out of this chair.”

He set the phone down and began to tug.  Not budging. I’m pleading with him to pull while I’m trying to shimmy out of the chair. Still not budging.

I thought at one point he was going to grab some butter and try to grease me up.

Past the point of being embarrassed, I began to laugh uncontrollably.

I finally, somehow, got out of the chair and got to the bathroom. It was an eventful experience.

For the rest of the third trimester, I just continued to grow and grow until I finally popped on August 3rd, 2011.

Words cannot even describe how miraculous giving birth was.  I had a great birthing experience. Despite thirty hours of labor and a few minor complications, I was high off of adrenaline and I felt like I could conquer the world.

I’m sure the epidural had a little to do with that, but all in all, I can’t wait to experience every part of it again. Well…. I can wait a while but not too long.